Tag Archive Dr. Ross W. Greene

ByVeronique Rabot

The kids we lose – Part 2/2

The kids we lose is a documentary scrutinizing the channel from school to prison.

The National Center for Learning Disabilities (2017) declared that fourth-grade students with low reading proficiency are more likely to be incarcerated than students who are reading proficiently.

It is a strong statement, and one can wonder why and how? Before reading this article, if you have not done so, please read the Part 1/2 of “The Kids We Lose” by Dr. Ross W. Greene (Click Here)

What is happening to Johnny?

Johnny is handled by the CPI (1)  trained personnel from the playground to school. Once in school, Johnny is brought to a safe room. From there, Johnny is watched by the behavioral specialist and/or an adult until he regains his composure.

Dialogue

Johnny: I hate this place, I want to play. I don’t want to go to class!

Adult: I will put my watch on. You will have to be calm for one minute. I will restart my watch until you have a safe body!

Finding himself in the safe room with nothing else than a mark on the floor. Johnny is reeling!

Johnny: I don’t care, I want to play…

This will last until Johnny can respond to three random commands

Adult: Johnny, touch your knees, touch your elbow, and touch your head.

At this point, Johnny responds to the requests

Adult: Please stand or sit on the mark on the floor for one minute, and then you will be able to get out of this room.

Johnny responds to request. As a result, he can get out of the safe-room.

It is at this point that counseling and/or consequences occur. In the meantime, Johnny would have missed precious class time. Consequently, Johnny will start to fall behind academically due to behavioral issues.

My experience

I worked in education for 15 years, but last year was my first year working in an elementary school. I must admit that I recognize some of the scenes from the documentary,”the kids we lose.”


How is the child responding to these treatments?

We could expect that a child would understand the pain he endured and would not want to do it again? However, he does not stop misbehaving!

In fact, the documentary “the kids we lose” shows that students become accustomed to punishment. As a result, they become immune to sanctions and continue to misbehave, losing faith in adults and the system in the meantime.

Why doesn’t the child stop misbehaving?

According to Dr. Greene, the reason is simple. They can’t! They are not equipped to solve social, emotional, and behavioral challenges!

Early detection of the problem

Dr. Greene pointed out that the dysfunctional responses from a child can be detectable very early on. The documentary related the experiences of parents who noticed that their child was not responding appropriately.

It went on to show parents looking for solutions while witnessing frequent uncontrollable outbursts, disrespect for boundaries, and aggressivity from their child.

Are parents always aware of a potential problem?

Nonetheless, some parents thought that these behaviors were normal. It was only when schools alerted them that they could, at times, acknowledge that their child might have a problem.

On the other hand, some parents sought out the services of a psychologist, special education, guidance counselors, and doctors. They sadly mentioned that nothing worked.

Moreover, children become discouraged and believe that nothing and no one will be able to fix them. They know, they can see how they behave compared to their peers. The documentary displays their despair and how they are resigning themselves to their fate.

Consequences for these children

They often end up going from school to prison because a child who had not learned to deal with his emotions will continue to misbehave.

Schools often call them ¨repeat offenders.¨ Unfortunately, growing up, they would have faced many punitive consequences resulting in growing anger and disrespect for authority. Who would blame them? What did the authorities do for them? Sadly, some children will turn to drugs or alcohol abuse to mask their pain, while others will turn to violence. Sorrowfully, all behaviors leading to prison.

Consequences for their peers, parents and educational staff

In 1993, the U.S Department of education enabled the integration of students in need of special education into the mainstream educational environment (Hossain, 2012).

With mainstreaming came exposing all children to potential outbursts from students lacking the cognitive skills necessary to regulate themselves.

Therefore, these misbehaviors became visible to all peers and educational staff. The documentary “The kids we lose”, mentioned that teachers who are at the forefront of these behaviors feel ill-equipped to deal with violent outbursts. They also want to protect the other children in the class and therefore ask for back up when incidents occur.

These backups can be behavioral specialists, administrators, special education teachers, guidance counselors, autism specialists, or school psychologists.

However, teachers are concerned and fear for the safety of other students who can get bit, pushed, or yelled out. They are also concerns for the child who cannot control his behavior, as the teacher knows that this child might be punished one way or the other.

How are peers internalizing all of this? Did we ask them?

Teachers are also concerned about teaching their curriculum so that all students can make progress. These interruptions often take precious time away from instruction, leading teachers to worry.

They worry for kids who suffer from uncontrollable outbursts because they are missing instructional time while having to deal with cognitive issues. Additionally, they worry for all kids who will not have the opportunity to finish the curriculum.

Solution

I am all heartedly with Dr. Green regarding the CPS method (See my posts on “Lost at School” part 1/2 and part 2/2)

If you believe that we can help the children at risk to fully integrate the educational system and get the education they rightfully deserve, then we all need to spread the word out. Please share my website eLearning-sofun.com!

All together, we can make a difference!

Thank you, Dr. Greene, for leading us in educating the child not only academically but also in his social-emotional development!

Watching the documentary

Unfortunately, PBS had the rights to show this documentary until 6/8/2020. Therefore, I linked an interview made about the movie. However, the movie is available on Amazon: The Kids We Lose.

The Kids We Lose is a 90-minute documentary film about the human side of being a child or student with behavioral challenges, and the struggles faced by parents, educators, staff in facilities, mental health clinicians, and judicial and law enforcement professionals in trying to ensure that these kids receive the help they need.

Warning! the documentary is emotionally difficult to watch. It is shown children with violent outbursts and with harsh punishments for consequences. Please do not watch the interview below or the documentary, the Kids we Lose with your children!

Final thought

The documentary could become a platform to engage in discussions with your child. You could ask him what he is witnessing in his school and how he feels.

As a result, an open discussion might shed some light on what is happening in your child’s school and how he is fairing in his daily environment.

How did it go?

I would like to hear from you, and please send your comments, questions on the link below.

You can also download my free book: “10 fun, yet effective technics for your child to read with pride and joy! 😉

In the meantime, parents and children, eLearning-sofun is for you! If you have questions after reading this post, please send them below. We will answer every question.

“Learning is intelligence having fun!”

(1) CPI technics have been established by the crisis Prevention Institute offers nonviolent crisis intervention training designed to teach best practices for managing difficult situations and disruptive behaviors.

Students learn how to identify at-risk individuals and use nonverbal and verbal techniques to defuse hostile or belligerent behavior. To know more click here

Photo de  Tadeusz Lakota  sur  Unsplash

ByVeronique Rabot

The kids we lose – Part 1/2

The kids we lose, a documentary scrutinizing the channel from school to prison.

The National Center for Learning Disabilities (2017) declared that fourth-grade students with low reading proficiency are more likely to be incarcerated than students who are reading proficiently.

About the documentary

Dr. Ross W. Greene, through his non-profit organization, “Lives in the Balance,” funded the documentary “The Kids We Lose.” To this end, Dr. Greene collaborated with the independent production company “Lone Wolf Media”. This company is one of the leaders in factual entertainment.

The documentary graphically shows the evolution of children who are not fitting in the school system. The most compelling evidence of children not fitting in is that they won’t or can’t abide by school regulations. They rebel, and they act as if the world should be revolving around them.

In fact, they behave as if nothing else matters but having it their way!

Let us take an example!

For instance, Johnny doesn’t want to come back from recess. The bell rings, and children start to line up, but Johnny keeps playing with his cars on the playground.

Dialogue

Teacher: Johnny, it is time to line up, let’s go! (Johnny continues playing disregarding the invitation to line up).

Teacher: Johnny, put your car in your pocket, and please line up.

Johnny: I want to play!

Teacher: I understand, but it is now time to line up. You can play again during next recess. Come on, Johnny, you will be late for your class. Look, everyone is going in, and your teacher is waiting for you!

Johnny: Yelling and crying. I don’t want to, I want to stay here and play.

Teacher: I will have to call for Mrs. Summary (Assistant principal) if you do not come with me.

Johnny: Now rolling on the ground. I don’t care, I want to play and I don’t want to go to class! And, I hate my class and I hate everybody!

At this point, the Assistant principal and the behavioral specialist come and using CPI technics (1), bring Johnny back to school.

What is happening to children like Johnny?

They are commonly called “children at risk” because they usually do not perform to the expected academic level due to behavioral challenges.

As a consequence, they might not graduate from High School while suffering through 12 years of schooling.

Through this documentary filmed across North America, Dr. Greene documents the methods used to bring these children “back in line”.

People who read this post also read: Lost at school – Part 1/2

Sadly, the documentary portrays children out of control and adults using different avenues to contain them.

Thereupon, the methods went from restraining the child, to send him back home, to in school or out of school suspensions, to handcuffing children, to involving the police, to placing children in solitary confinement or locked-door seclusion, to using a paddle to spank them.

This documentary is very difficult to watch! And it is even more difficult to realize that no better solutions are found and applied to change the course of these children!

PODCAST from Dr. Ross W. Greene

podcast

Following the documentary, Dr. Greene explained his reactions after hearing from people who watched the video. Click here

Next post: What is happening to Johnny?

On the next post, we will discuss “What is happening to Johnny?”

What to expect!

  • How a child is responding to these treatments?
  • Why the child doesn’t stop misbeaving and what are the subsquent consequences?
  • The solutions!
  • And finally the link to the documentary.

In the meantime, parents and children, eLearning-sofun is for you! If you have questions after reading this post, please send them below. We will answer every question.

“Learning is intelligence having fun!”

(1) CPI technics have been established by the crisis Prevention Institute offers nonviolent crisis intervention training designed to teach best practices for managing difficult situations and disruptive behaviors.

Students learn how to identify at-risk individuals and use nonverbal and verbal techniques to defuse hostile or belligerent behavior. To know more click here

Photo by Tadeusz Lakota on Unsplash

ByVeronique Rabot

Lost at School – Part 2/2

Ross W. Greene Phd

Lost at School – Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them By  Dr. Ross W. Greene

Part 2/2

Here is part II of the book “Lost in School.” In the preceding article, we discussed the principles of Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS). For a refresher, please refer to the article Part 1/2 – Lost in School.

As promised, here is the CPS method in action with a concrete example.

Review of plans A, B and C with a “live” situation:

Johnny is in class and is called on by his teacher to go to the board to show his work to the class.

Dialogue

Teacher: Johnny, could you be please go to the board and show your classmates how you responded to question number 5?

Johnny: “No”

Teacher: “Johnny, please, go to the board!”

Johnny: “No, I don’t want to.”

Teacher: “I am asking you to get up and go to the board. It is important that we all share our work.”

Johnny: Getting up and storming out of the room screaming: “This is stupid, I am not going to the board, and you all suck!”

Plans A – B and C 

According to Dr. Green here are the 3 plans one can follow to address this situation.

Plan A: “You do or else.

Johnny ends up in the principal’s office and gets a speech about the rules and gets his punishment. Then, he returns to class, and no one will discuss this again… until the next outburst.

Plan C: “Letting go.”

The teacher finally did not consider it important for Johnny to go to the board or not. In this case, upon Johnny’s return, she would not mention it and would not call on Johnny again.

Plan B or Collaborative, Problem Solving (CPS):

Upon his return, in the classroom, the teacher would ask for a moment to discuss what happened with Johnny.

Plan B in action: Dialogue between Johnny and his teacher

Teacher: “Johnny, I noticed that you were pretty upset about going to the board. What happened”

Johnny: “It is dumb! Why do I have to go to the board?”

Teacher: “Students take turn to go to the board for 2 reasons:

One

I can see if you or your classmates understood the problem and how they solved it, and

two

I can assess if I have been doing a good job teaching you these concepts.

You see, if everyone answered the problem correctly, then I know that I did a good job. If not, I try to teach it differently so everyone can get it.

Johnny: “You are wondering if you are doing a good job?”

Teacher: “Yes, of course, I want for all of you to be successful, but I am wondering if I did a good job with you? Obviously, you left the room pretty angry, what happened?”

Johnny is opening up

Johnny: “I don’t get any of it, and when you call on me, everybody can see how stupid I am.”

Teacher: “I am sorry to have put you in this situation, Johnny. Do you have a solution to this situation never to happen again.”

Finding a solution together

Johnny: “You could check with me first to see if I did it right.”

Teacher: “That is an excellent idea, but first, we want to make sure that you are understanding what you need to do and how you need to do it. Do you have a solution for that?”

Johnny: “I do not want others to see that I am not getting it, so maybe we can have a code. This way, you could come and help me without me asking in front of everybody.”

Teacher: “This is great, I can certainly do that! But you know Johnny, you can also come before or after school or whenever it works for you. Together we work ahead of time on what I will be teaching. As a result, you will be prepared. How does it sound?”

Johnny: “Yes, I would like that. Thank you Mrs. Garret.”

What happened here?

Did Johnny want to do well? Was his misbehavior coming from something else than not wanting to follow the rules?

If your answer is YES for both questions, you are right!

Tip of the iceberg

Dr. Green (and also do I) believe that the misbehavior is just the tip of the iceberg. Fundamentally, a child wants to do well and follow the rules. Therefore, if he goes against them, we have to wonder why and ask him.

Lack of cognitive ability

It is clear to Dr. Green that some students, mostly kids who are too often in trouble, might lack the skills to respond conventionally.

It would be like having an academic learning disability, but instead having a cognitive learning disability.

Consequently, it is not that they do not want to but that they cannot process conflicts appropriately.

Our role is to provide the child with the tools necessary to acquire these skills!

For this, it is necessary to engage in open communication without judgment or an agenda. Just let the conversation develop naturally.

However, let’s not forget that the goal is to address the problem and work together to solve it.

In the end, the child has to understand that his behavior was not appropriate, the adult has to understand the underlying reasons for the misbehavior, and that the solution has to satisfy both parties.

Were the 5 CPS goals met in the story with Johnny and his teacher?

  1. Did the teacher address the problem while engaging Johnny into finding solutions?
  2. Was the teacher able to get Johnny to open up about his challenging behavior and to engage in a collaborative discussion on the matter?
  3. Once a mutually agreeable solution has been defined, did the teacher give him the tools to act differently next time?
  4. Would this approach reduce Johnny’s challenging behavior in the future?
  5. Did the relationship between the teacher and Johnny become based on trust?  

If you answered yes to all these questions, you now have a good handle on CPS. Yeah! Be proud of yourself!

Now you just need to try it at home now!

I would love to hear how it went, please leave me comments on your experiences. Finally, by clicking on this link: www.eLearning-sofun.com, you can download my free book: “10 fun, simple yet effective technics for your child to read with pride and joy!”

In the meantime, parents and children, eLearning-sofun is for you! If you have questions after reading this post, please send them below. We will answer every question.

“Learning is intelligence having fun!”

So have fun on this new journey!

ByVeronique Rabot

Lost at School – Part 1/2

In our serie  “Books to travel beyond,” we will start with “Lost at School”

Ross W. Greene Phd

Lost at School – Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them, by  Dr. Ross W. Greene.

Part 1/2

Dear parents,

As promised, here is a book summary of “Lost at School” from Dr. Ross W. Greene. He is an eminent American clinical child psychologist who is a New York best selling author.

He has been featured on Oprah Show, Dateline NBC, the CBS Morning Show, and the Public Broadcasting Services (PBS), among others, for his work on the book “Lost at School.”

Indeed, Dr. Ross W Greene developed the innovative Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) framework to handle conflict with children while teaching them the skills they are lacking.

Why this book?

We often hear that “school is not for everyone,” but are schools doing everything they can to include everyone? Dr. Greene, in his book “Lost at School,” challenges educators to go further than the usual “you do not follow the rules; here is your punishment.” But instead, collaborating with the child to find mutually agreeable solutions.

Why is this book for you!

Indeed this book was written for educators in a school setting. However, as parents, you are the first educators of your children.

Unfortunately, parenting doesn’t come with a manual as soon as our child is born. Therefore, we learn, we fumble and do our best! Thanks to this book you will have different tools to deal with conflict or plain disagreements with your child at home.

This book is a response to conflict resolution with your child. By this token, I am challenging you to use the Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS) framework to apply at home!

People who read this post also read “Your child has challenges with reading”.

What are Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS)?

The CPS framework is based on a question. Are we asking too much from a child for his capacity to handle a situation? It is true that some children are more apt to handle conflictual situations than others. In fact, a child can respond calmly to a given request while another will explode, screams, hits, bites, or worse.

Dr. Greene considered 3 plans, A, B and C to conflict resolution.

Even though 2 are obviously not ideal but nonetheless can find their place in dealing with discipline, the third one teaches skills a child might be lacking to resolve conflict.

Plan A: “You do or else.”

Although this authoritarian approach can be applicable when safety concerns are at stake, if used as the only mean of discipline, it might exacerbate conflicts. Where is the child’s voice with this approach? How can a child develop the necessary skills to manage conflict when adults impose their will through punishment?

Plan C: “Letting go attitude.”

Even though this laxity can find its place, what are we teaching the child? Granted that we have to pick our battles and let go of some of our expectations, but systematically doing it will leave the child to fend for himself to learn right from wrong.

Plan B or Collaborative, Problem Solving (CPS)

This solution requires the most work but the most rewards too.

  1. Tell yourself that if your child is not behaving appropriately, it is that maybe he does not have the cognitive capacity to handle the situation.
  2. Be clear about your expectation and engage in a dialogue with your child.
  3. Together find a solution agreeable to you and your child.
  4. Take this opportunity to teach the skills your child is lacking.
  5. Create a trusting relationship.

As a result, notice if you detect a reduction of challenging behaviors at home!

In our next post, we will develop on plan B and how it applies to a concrete example.

If you tried plan B, please, let me know how it went. We are here for you!

Your child is a person who develops at his own pace. Consequently, allow him time to learn what is expected of him.

I would like to hear from you, and please send your comments, questions on the link below.

You can also download my free book: “10 fun, yet effective technics for your child to read with pride and joy! 😉

“Learning is intelligence having fun!”

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