Lost at School – Why Our Kids with Behavioral Challenges are Falling Through the Cracks and How We Can Help Them By Dr. Ross W. Greene
Part 2/2
Here is part II of the book “Lost in School.” In the preceding article, we discussed the principles of Collaborative & Proactive Solutions (CPS). For a refresher, please refer to the article Part 1/2 – Lost in School.
As promised, here is the CPS method in action with a concrete example.
Review of plans A, B and C with a “live” situation:
Johnny is in class and is called on by his teacher to go to the board to show his work to the class.
Dialogue
Teacher: Johnny, could you be please go to the board and show your classmates how you responded to question number 5?
Johnny: “No”
Teacher: “Johnny, please, go to the board!”
Johnny: “No, I don’t want to.”
Teacher: “I am asking you to get up and go to the board. It is important that we all share our work.”
Johnny: Getting up and storming out of the room screaming: “This is stupid, I am not going to the board, and you all suck!”
Plans A – B and C
According to Dr. Green here are the 3 plans one can follow to address this situation.
Plan A: “You do or else.”
Johnny ends up in the principal’s office and gets a speech about the rules and gets his punishment. Then, he returns to class, and no one will discuss this again… until the next outburst.
Plan C: “Letting go.”
The teacher finally did not consider it important for Johnny to go to the board or not. In this case, upon Johnny’s return, she would not mention it and would not call on Johnny again.
Plan B or Collaborative, Problem Solving (CPS):
Upon his return, in the classroom, the teacher would ask for a moment to discuss what happened with Johnny.
Plan B in action: Dialogue between Johnny and his teacher
Teacher: “Johnny, I noticed that you were pretty upset about going to the board. What happened”
Johnny: “It is dumb! Why do I have to go to the board?”
Teacher: “Students take turn to go to the board for 2 reasons:
One
I can see if you or your classmates understood the problem and how they solved it, and
two
I can assess if I have been doing a good job teaching you these concepts.
You see, if everyone answered the problem correctly, then I know that I did a good job. If not, I try to teach it differently so everyone can get it.
Johnny: “You are wondering if you are doing a good job?”
Teacher: “Yes, of course, I want for all of you to be successful, but I am wondering if I did a good job with you? Obviously, you left the room pretty angry, what happened?”
Johnny is opening up
Johnny: “I don’t get any of it, and when you call on me, everybody can see how stupid I am.”
Teacher: “I am sorry to have put you in this situation, Johnny. Do you have a solution to this situation never to happen again.”
Finding a solution together
Johnny: “You could check with me first to see if I did it right.”
Teacher: “That is an excellent idea, but first, we want to make sure that you are understanding what you need to do and how you need to do it. Do you have a solution for that?”
Johnny: “I do not want others to see that I am not getting it, so maybe we can have a code. This way, you could come and help me without me asking in front of everybody.”
Teacher: “This is great, I can certainly do that! But you know Johnny, you can also come before or after school or whenever it works for you. Together we work ahead of time on what I will be teaching. As a result, you will be prepared. How does it sound?”
Johnny: “Yes, I would like that. Thank you Mrs. Garret.”
What happened here?
Did Johnny want to do well? Was his misbehavior coming from something else than not wanting to follow the rules?
If your answer is YES for both questions, you are right!
Tip of the iceberg
Dr. Green (and also do I) believe that the misbehavior is just the tip of the iceberg. Fundamentally, a child wants to do well and follow the rules. Therefore, if he goes against them, we have to wonder why and ask him.
Lack of cognitive ability
It is clear to Dr. Green that some students, mostly kids who are too often in trouble, might lack the skills to respond conventionally.
It would be like having an academic learning disability, but instead having a cognitive learning disability.
Consequently, it is not that they do not want to but that they cannot process conflicts appropriately.
Our role is to provide the child with the tools necessary to acquire these skills!
For this, it is necessary to engage in open communication without judgment or an agenda. Just let the conversation develop naturally.
However, let’s not forget that the goal is to address the problem and work together to solve it.
In the end, the child has to understand that his behavior was not appropriate, the adult has to understand the underlying reasons for the misbehavior, and that the solution has to satisfy both parties.
Were the 5 CPS goals met in the story with Johnny and his teacher?
- Did the teacher address the problem while engaging Johnny into finding solutions?
- Was the teacher able to get Johnny to open up about his challenging behavior and to engage in a collaborative discussion on the matter?
- Once a mutually agreeable solution has been defined, did the teacher give him the tools to act differently next time?
- Would this approach reduce Johnny’s challenging behavior in the future?
- Did the relationship between the teacher and Johnny become based on trust?
If you answered yes to all these questions, you now have a good handle on CPS. Yeah! Be proud of yourself!
Now you just need to try it at home now!
I would love to hear how it went, please leave me comments on your experiences. Finally, by clicking on this link: www.eLearning-sofun.com, you can download my free book: “10 fun, simple yet effective technics for your child to read with pride and joy!”
In the meantime, parents and children, eLearning-sofun is for you! If you have questions after reading this post, please send them below. We will answer every question.
“Learning is intelligence having fun!”
So have fun on this new journey!